Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Palin announces formation of PAC, Cards to win Super Bowl

Sarah Palin announced the launch of her Political Action Committee today. I saw the jubliant news on FOX around 4pm MDT this afternoon. Seriously, I am STOKED!! Hopefully she will capitalize on her recent fame to suck untold millions from potential contributor's to the conservative right into the hopeless void of lunacy that her national political candidacy represents. Seriously, after 2 weeks of having the smartest guy in the room making decisions, can anyone take her wacky bullshit seriously? "I'm a hockey mom, so vote for me!" Yeah - after 8 years of being anesthetized by the daily nonsensical horseshit flowing freely from the mouths of the highest office holders in the land, this had some pull. Today, it is a colloquial farse, a pander to the slow, the weak, and the foolish. "For the price of one pack of Virginia Slims per month you could help put dip-shit in a senate senate seat, or perhaps, THE WHITE HOUSE ITSELF!" SO sign up Ta-DAY! hahaha HOOHOHO. pALIN....

Want to put your money to some real use? OK - then sign up for my newly formed PAC - "LANCE FOR PRESIDENT, SUCKAS". Seriously, thast's the full name of the PAC - Lance for President, Sucka's. All donations are almost tax deductible, and if you help elect Lance to any seat outside of county politics, he'll refund anything you couldn't deduct. Lance is on your side, brother.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Van Morrison 2008 Remasters

On the news last week, I heard that Circuit City might be closing shop. That reminded me that I had a gift card which had been floating around my wallet for a while. I jumped online and while digging around, can across these two beauties, fully re-masted in 24/96 last year. I was hoping for a 24/96 SACD or DVD-A version, but it was not to be. Also lacking was a 180gm vinyl re-issue. I guess I'll have to wait for those. These releases (Common One and Veedon Fleece), Van's seminal woks from the mid-70's, are true works of art, and a pleasure to listen to. The remaster sounds great, and though the soft ambiance and muted fury of the original vinyl is crisped up a bit, the clarity of the funky bass lines in songs like "Satisfied" are worth it. Each disc has 2 "bonus tracks" on it - A different take of Cul De Sac and Twilight Zone on Veedon Fleece and Two alternate versions of songs on COmmon One. Of these, all are interesting save for Twilight Zone, which is such a killer tune, but the version presented here didn't make the album for a reason. I bought these as my Vinyl copies of both have tragic skips during crucial musical passages, almost runing the experience for me. It's good to have the whole thing in one piece again.

In other Van Morrison news, Rhino Records has re-issued "Astral Weeks", "Moondance", and "His Band and Street Choir" on 180gm vinyl. In addition, he played and recorded a show at the Hollywood Bowl last year where one of the sets was the entire "Astral Weeks" album. It'll be out on the 'Listen to the Lion Records' release Feb 10. It should be real interesting to hear his current take on something he wrote as a young man. Look for it and Astral Weeks to be reviewed here after I order them in a week.

Friday, January 23, 2009

383 stroker small block chevy engine for sale

Howdy Y'all! Ol' Lance hittin' ya up on Friday with a *PRIMO* deal for the wise and thrifty amongst you. Behold - A Lance Classic, hand re-built BEAUTY of a power house! Heeel Yeah!, a Chevy 383 Stroker, ready to pimp your ride, Ta - Day! C'mon, I know you've been itchin' to get the old Chevy Step-Side back in action... you know, the one you call, "Little Bandit" or "Leeeetle Mule", or "Red". Well here's your golden opportunity! Just look at this piece of art. Think it reeks of speed? Buddy, this thing stinks like a fart in church when it comes to speed. Think it's got pull? Dude, this sucker's got more pull than Pee-wee at the Playhouse. And for the sweet special price of $2500, it can be yours. This won't be hangin' around long, as people around D-Town know - Lance builds 'em up right!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

AZ Cardinals - Bring it On!

Ho Ho! Check out this sticker I saw for sale. Pretty scarry. What's that thing gonna do, peck your eyes out? The cards were 45-1 to begin the season, and still at 40-1 before the first round of the playoffs. I bet that one guy in Phoenix who throws $50 bucks at them every season is STOKED! The current line is the Steelers by 6 1/2 or 7 points, depending on who you ask. My guess is that one team is gonna flop, as happenes so often in "The Big Game". 7 for Pittsburg is probably a decent bet.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Former President Bush

The second best moment of my day yeasterday was when I walked by the TV's around 4:30 and heard the announcer say that "Former President Bush" was giving a speech. Like music to my ears. Chills ran down my spine. Screw whatever else Rick Warren was praying about yesterday, he should have gone with a two liner: "Thank you God for delivering us from this evil. Let's work together to make sure it doesn't happen again, ok?" Texas seemed to be happy to have Bush back... They can keep him. Good riddence from the rest of us pal, and I hope the door didn't hit you in the ass on the way out.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Our Finest Hour

This picture pretty much sums it up.
I was able to sit down in the break room at work and watch the inauguration as well as the inaugural address. Elsewhere, I may have been more emotional, but at work I played it low-key. The man is amazing. He has more emotional connection to the American people in his little finger than Bush had in 8 years of speeches combined. *8 Freaking Years!*

I feel like we have finally turned the corner, and where Bush labeled his presidency the first of the new century, I feel like history will look at it as the final of the last. I also feel that the Finest Hour of the Bush administration passed today, between 11am EDT and 11:59am. So long, sucker.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Super Bowel - Az & Pittsburg

Hmm - strange days for sure. Pittsburg is a TANK, and I am pretty sure that mike Tomlin is the best coach in the NFL today. That said, this guy Wisenhunt has managed to take the Arizona Cardinals to the big game - a feat not unlike landing a man on the moon in 10 years...

From AP:
"So the Cardinals, founding members of the NFL but historically among the most dysfunctional franchises in the league, are going to their first Super Bowl. The franchise last won an NFL title in 1947 when the team was known as the Chicago Cardinals."

Seriously, this is depressing. Stupid Vikes.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Days until Bush is OUT!

If you are generally in a bad mood this afternoon (like I am), click on the following link and you'll feel a little better.

Days until Bush is OUT OF OFFICE!

Science closing in on cloak of invisibility

OK - this should probably go under the heading of "Are you F(*&^(*&^G kidding me?". And not because scientists at Duke are taking the ol' Dungeons & Dragons thing 'one toke over the line'. Hell No - Check out the last line for who is funding this research, and thereby gaining the knowledge of how it works. Yeah - that's what we need, the Chineese military to have a bunch of invisible aircraft, ships, tanks, and Ninja's. Oh, wait - they're probably just interrested in it for the sake of science. Yeah - right... Well, as long as it doesn't fall in the hands of the Terrorizers, right?

Science closing in on cloak of invisibility
Thu Jan 15, 7:11 pm ET

WASHINGTON – They can't match Harry Potter yet, but scientists are moving closer to creating a real cloak of invisibility. Researchers at Duke University, who developed a material that can "cloak" an item from detection by microwaves, report that they have expanded the number of wavelengths they can block.

Last August the team reported they had developed so-called metamaterials that could deflect microwaves around a three-dimensional object, essentially making it invisible to the waves.

The system works like a mirage, where heat causes the bending of light rays and cloaks the road ahead behind an image of the sky.

The researchers report in Thursday's edition of the journal Science that they have developed a series of mathematical commands to guide the development of more types of metamaterials to cloak objects from an increasing range of electromagnetic waves.

"The new device can cloak a much wider spectrum of waves — nearly limitless — and will scale far more easily to infrared and visible light. The approach we used should help us expand and improve our abilities to cloak different types of waves," senior researcher David R. Smith said in a statement.

The new cloak is made up of more than 10,000 individual pieces of fiberglass arranged in parallel rows. The mathematical formulas are used to determine the shape and placement of each piece to deflect the electromagnetic waves.

The research was supported by Raytheon Missile Systems, the Air Force Office of Scientific Research, InnovateHan Technology, the National Science Foundation of China, the National Basic Research Program of China and National Science Foundation of Jiangsu Province, China.

Monday, January 12, 2009


Ok - The AZ Cardinals in an NFC Championship game? Seriously, it's like the 1st seal has been broken or something. I am stock-piling food in preparation for the global locust plague next month.

And playing the lousy Eagles?

I was secretly hoping for an all west coast AZ - San Diego matchup in "The Big Game", but true to form, the Bolts licked their heines and begged for more of Pittsburgs love throughout the game last night. Apparently, No means Yes in San Diego.

I have a feeling that the AFC will steamroll either the witless Cardinals or the Hapless Eagles. We'll see.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Think you're having a bad day?

Well, if you aren't this lady, then think again. Here's the headline:

Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead.

OUCH! Question #1: What did they do with the old one? Questions #2: Does she now have two?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Das Boot!

Following our employer's Holiday Party, several folks stopped by a local drinking establishment here in Durango to contiue the celebrations. You may note the large glass drinking Boot that is making its way around the table. This fine instrument is a speciality of the house, and has potent, though sometimes unpredictable results. For instance, you will note the sucker in the green shirt, seen here mid-diatramb, emphatically enlightening anyone in earshot about the wonders of this magic boot. Ho Ho! - If he only knew the truth - that the girls in Red are from holland and speak little english, the man next to him is a manequin, and the fella in the dark suit stopped listening after finishing the last Boot-Full of beer. Cheers~!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Delta Junction in January.

Ahh, lovely Delta Junction, Alaska - How I miss thee, though not right now. This is a photo from my friend Dave up in the "Friendly Frontier" from Jan 3rd. First thing to note is that his thermometer does in fact go to -80. The second is that it is displaying -56 in this picture. Aye! The lowest we ever saw when our time 'up north der' was -54.6. Purty weenie.