Thursday, August 21, 2008

Gotta love country music.

The existence of this little ditty was recently brought to my attention. As YouTube is quickly becoming the de facto repository for all human knowledge, (from useful to useless, its almost all there), I was able to find a recording of the song. High in the running for the "Most Contrived Lyrics, Even for a Country Music Song" award, you really gotta hand it to the guy who stooped low enough to write, "It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew My Ass All Day".

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Capital I

In a recent discussion with my buddy Chad, he mentioned watching a lot of old Sesame Street programs recently with his toddler. In particular, he mentioned the following clip.
He sang the little jingle, and I vaguely remembered the scene. I was stoked to find this thing on YouTube. And he is right, clips like this are why the 70's ruled. First, I agree that the music sounds a lot like the band America. But what do the lyrics mean? Oh sure - three dudes in a capital I... That's not odd, is it? "We all live in a capital I, It floats above the desert in the middle of the sky..." I propose that the actual meaning is more to the concept of ego, and the sad plight of man, left trapped in the lonely caverns of the mind, shining the self and shutting the door of conciet, keeping the self a beautiful yet solitary monument awash in the vast empty expanse of the universe. It's a sad and hard lesson for a toddler, or a man, but it may contain a glimmer of hope for trancendance. The line, "Polishing the I, high up in the sky", could also be written, "Polishing the EYE, high up in the sky", a sly and subtle refrence to the eye of mind, ego's bane, and the possibility of broader human understanding and experience beyond the walls of the "I". These are the lessons that a large swath of America grew up with, lessons that are sorely lacking from modern children's programming.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Jerome Corsi - Making America more Stupid - one book at a time.

Don't know who our boy Jerome is? Remember the novella, "Unfit for Command", a cheap rag full of half truth's and outright lies about John Kerry (including the cock-and-bull stories put forward by the group "Swiftboat Jackasses for Horseshit")? Well our boy is back at it, publishing a fictional tale next month that supposedly "outlines" Barak Obama's ties to Islam. This is pretty far fetched, even for a souless conservative schill like Corsi. Bear in mind that this kneebiter actually publishes for the internet rumor mill WorldNetDaily. (Note the banner on their homepage - "If you do not speak english, please hang up".) This bunch of clowns appeales to the uber-paranoid likes of my former co-worker "Y2K Alan", and the reactionary ingrates that run that freaky neo-nazi tinged AM radio station out of Johnstown, Colorado. Seriously, Y2K Alan used to forward me stories in the late 90's about "imminent" threats of total nuclear strikes out of the former Soviet Union and other such non-sense. He was a complete wack-job, and he got it from Corsi and his likes over at "We Make Shit up and Call it News" Daily. Or is that FOX "news"?

Anyway - here's a shot of our boy Corsi during happier times. I would hope the American public has it in themselves to recognize this sick old bastard for the freak that he is. Go to hell Jerome Corsi, and do us all a favor.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

4x4 Van w/ mattracks - Sweetness!

Hola Amig-ros! Lance hittin' ya up on a Tuesday with some vehicular glory that popped up on the local D-Town craigslist the other day. To begin with, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?! It's frickin' bold, and it's frickin' beautiful. Not only is it a 4 wheel drive van with lift, but it has mattracks as well! The Hombre who built up this unit sure knew wha the was doin'. If I met this guy on the street I'd tell it to him straight, "Lance is impressed, DUDE!"

Monday, August 11, 2008

Chris Collinsworth is an asseater.

I got a message from my old boy "O" yesterday. He echoed my thoughts when I sat down saturday to watch some Olympics, and was stunned to see Chris Collinsworth announcing. C'mon, this is the guy who used to get weddgies from Dan Marino after the NFL today show. Honestly, the only aspect of the Olympics more underwhelming was Bob Costas' hair. This is the worst announcing line-up I have seen since someone pulled John Mcenroe and Billie Jean King for the US Open a few years back. Mcenroe had the personality of the Tin Man, and Bille Jean King seemed to be stoned on a solid mix of 'Tussen, Perc's, and Southern Comfort. Truly terrible commentators.

But back to our boy Collinsworth. Didn't this dude get the boot from the NFL for being too boring? Hey, I know, let's tap him for the biggest sporting event of the year, and inflict his sneer up millions of innocent American's for two weeks straight. I hope whoever made that decision is in Beijing, and is drinking coca-cola with PLENTY of peepee in it.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A trade to the Jets?

Wow - one of the best Quaterbacks in the league traded to the lousy Jets for a 4th round pick next year. Gotta hand it to Green bay on that one. Too many cheese curds on the brain or something. Personally I hold to my earlier comments that the Pack will blow this year through the incompetant leadership of it's "Troika of Fools", McCarthy, Murphy, and Thompson. Ha!
Check out this great shot of Joe namath back in the day. I suggest that if you love the pack, you should go rub some Ben Gay on that burn...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Favre's mind revelad (Do you BLAME him)?

I think I know why Favre was reluctant to play in GB anymore. After 16 years of guys like this shouting at you, can you blame him?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Favre - A purple headed warrior? pt. 3

Ho Ho! looks like there is something less than a lovefest going on in Green Bay. Brett Favre doesn't seem to be interrested in playing with a pack of punks anymore, as was conjectured below. The long n' short of it is that the Vikes are going to roll over Green Bay like a MAC truck over road kill, regardless of who has Favre on offense.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Ho Ho - this one speaks for itself.

Favre back to Green Bay?

The Washington Post is reporting that our old boy, Favre, is to be reinstated today, and to report to the Packers training camp. This story ain't over, but right now, I wonder if the fans of the pack, (also known as suckers, chumps, and the illeterate), feel like a bunch of Rube's today.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Favre, a purple headed warrior pt. 2

The Packers organization, in a pitiful last ditch move of desperation, has offered Brett Favre $20 mil to stay retired for 10 years. What a weak bunch of punks these guys are. Check out the following story from the sporting news. Note the following line: "Favre also reiterated in the text message to ESPNews that it was his intention to play, preferably in the NFC North and with the Minnesota Vikings. "If they won't let me play in Green Bay, let me play against you. That's where I am," Favre said." HA! I think that a purple n' gold #4 might look pretty decent in the playoffs.