Thursday, July 21, 2011

Ska press release focuses on loss

Ska Brewing Oddly Focused On “Loss” at Recent Beer Competition
DURANGO, COLO., (July 20, 2011) —Judging has been completed in the 2011 Los Angeles International Commercial Beer Competition, and Ska Brewing didn’t win a single medal, or even an honorable mention. Despite winning gold and silver medals in the 2010 competition, Ska came up empty-handed this year.

“Our friends at Odell Brewing and Lagunitas Brewing won medals,” said Dave Thibodeau, Ska Brewing President and Co-Founder. “Last year we won two medals in L.A… Samuel Adams Light won a medal. How am I supposed to tell our shareholder about this?”

Despite recently winning two medals at the Australian International Beer Awards—a silver for Modus Hoperandi, and a bronze for ESB, out of 1195 total entries—Thibodeau remained strangely focused on the loss. The medals in Australia weren’t the only recent wins, either, with Ska winning a silver medal at the Denver International Beer Competition for Buster Nut Brown Ale, and a two medals at the North American Beer Awards—a gold for Pinstripe and a bronze for Steel Toe Stout.

“We’ve actually been winning a lot of medals this season, but this loss at L.A. is all I can think about,” said Bill Graham, Ska Co-Founder and Overlord of Brewing Operations. “I know [Ballast Point Brewing’s] Sculpin IPA is a nearly perfect IPA, but I thought Modus would bring home some hardware. Nebraska Brewing didn’t even name their IPA. I don’t know where the justice is in this crazy mixed-up world.”

According to well-placed sources, Ska has actually won as many competition medals this season as they ever have, including a previously unmentioned bronze for Modus Hoperandi IPA and a silver for ESB at the AmeriCAN Craft Beer Festival. That fact notwithstanding, Thibodeau insisted on putting out a press release about Ska’s “loss” in L.A. According to a Ska PR manager who requested anonymity in order to speak candidly, Thibodeau didn’t even want to make the release funny, or poke fun at beer competitions in general. “Press releases are supposed to show your company in the best possible light,” said the source. “No one here listens to me. We’ve been winning things left and right, and all these guys can think about is not winning at one event. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

1 comment:

sgillies.net said...

Change the names to protect the innocent and submit this to The Onion :)