McShizzle to visit D-Town.

That's right - little ol' Durango in the national campaign spotlight for 15 Minutes this Friday night, when the Republicans 'red-headed step child' candidate blows through town for some good old fashioned rabble rousing and hell raising! Yee-haw! I even think I might go, just to see what some "Real Americans" look like. My guess is that the room will smell of Horseshit & Chewing tobacco spit for a week. The only bummer here is that Gov. Palin (you know the bumper sticker, "Sarah!") will not be making a stop here with Senator McCain. It's too bad really - I guess we'll be missing out on the "Lip-Shtick" portion of this season's republican campaign. (Thanks to Erica for the pun). Side note: I love dog's, but it is a fundamental truth that Pit-Bulls are some of the stupidest animals on the planet.... you betcha, Joe 6-pack! *wink*
But there is GOOD NEWS TOO! The McCain campaign, fully understanding the weakness of their candidate amongst a vast majority of the republican party elite (Joe-dumbass, your average work-a-day Nascar fan digs him, but of course this is also the guy who voted for the notorious Bush/Cheney ticket, twice) has made provisions for one of John-boy's contemporaries to make a guest appearance with him here in Durango (see above). The thought is that Yoda will appeal to middle age folks who grew up in the late 70's at the height of his fame, and also address the concerns of the AARP members in attendance.

Don't Rent "The Zohan".

Ok, Seriously - This is the shittiest movie I have had the misfortune to witness in a while. I don't even know what else to say. Adam Sandler deserves a righteous asskicking for releasing this piece of crap. AVOID THE PAIN!

PBR For sale?

That's right, the fabeled brewer of Olympia, Blatz, and the timeless PBR is up for sale. Unfortunatly, due to a brilliant marketing campaign based on the blue ribbon won in 1893, sales of the classic brew are such that even a large microbrewery would be out of the running for a buyout. This is a true shame. When the massive Landmark Brewery closed in St. Paul, the august Scheel brewery in New Ulm picked up the LEGENDARY "Grain Belt Premium Lager" brand, and began brewing and distributing it themselves. I am repeatedly reminded that it is truly the finest Macrobrew available each time I visit the mothership, and pick up a 12'er. Too bad they don't distribute west of Iowa.

This is a lovely shot of the old Landmark Brewery at Sunrise. Shortly after this was taken, the building was demolished. A true travesty. The site is probably a mixed-use high end shopping and trendy loft complex now....

~Viva Blatz~

I was looking at the winners from this years Great American Beer Festival in Denver, and ran across the following category. I was happy to see one of my personal midwest favorites, BLATZ, getting the props it deserves. There are some that claim that consuming enough BLATZ can give you a case of the SCHILTZ, but in my experience, this is simply "Green Bottle Prejudice" or some other misguided beer folly. It was good to see our old boy Oly on top as well.

Category: 28 American-Style Lager or Premium Lager - 29 Entries
Gold: Olympia, Pabst Brewing Co., Woodridge, IL
Silver: Blatz, Pabst Brewing Co., Woodridge, IL
Bronze: Henry Weinhard’s Private Reserve, MillerCoors, Milwaukee, WI

Fall Cider

My buddy Chris had a bumper crop of apples out at his house this year. We took the time to pick a few... What a great fall activity - picking free organic apples in the beautiful Colorado sunshine, and then turning them into booze.

I ran the first batch through a juicer. That thing is apparently made to produce a cup or two of juice - 6 gallons was a little much. I changed tactics on the second batch by shredding the apples with the food processor, and then pressing them in a Home-School press I whipped together.














Here's a gripping live action exclusive that I entitle, "Next Year I am throwing down on a full sized cider press and apple grinder setup".


Below are the recipes I used for the two batches. Both are for 6 gallons. The first batch had an initial greenish hue as I juiced the apples without peeling them. A lot of sediment settled out and was removed during the first racking. The second batch was golden amber, like cider from the store. I added pectic enzyme to both prior to pitching the yeast. Also, I used potassium metabisulfate on the first batch to sterilize it 24 hours prior to pitching the yeast. I don't think that was necessary as the yeast will produce some sulfur, and thereby sterilize the juice.

Cider #1
6 gal Apple juice
3 lb Brown sugar
1 Cup honey
3 tsp Yeast Nutrient
1 Lime (juiced)
1 Cinnamon Stick
1 pkt Lalvin Champagne yeast.

This sucker was pitched on September 10th, and is still going strong. The champagne yeast should make this one pretty strong.

Cider #2
6 gal Apple Juice
2 lb brown sugar
1 Cup honey
3 tsp yeast nutrient
1 lime (juiced)
1 Cinnamon stick
White Labs Saison Ale yeast

This was fermenting like crazy, but has seriously slowed down. This is a hallmark of the Saison yeast, I guess. I cut back on the sugar as I don't want the Alcohol to get to high and kill the yeast as I'll need it to carbonate the batch. (OK, so I only had 2 lbs on hand and didn't feel like running to the store...)

Jerome Corsi - Making America more Stupid, Part Duh.

Oh what joy! Demented author Jerome Corsi jailed in Kenya for being the self-righteous indignant ass that he is. I hope the Kenyan government makes him feel right at home in an East-African prison for a while. Maybe even broaden his cultural horizons (and poop chute) a bit with 'proper' cellmate selection. How about you write a best seller about that, sucker...

Fall in Colorado, 2008

This is Red Mountain Pass last Sunday morning.

Gotta love country music.

The existence of this little ditty was recently brought to my attention. As YouTube is quickly becoming the de facto repository for all human knowledge, (from useful to useless, its almost all there), I was able to find a recording of the song. High in the running for the "Most Contrived Lyrics, Even for a Country Music Song" award, you really gotta hand it to the guy who stooped low enough to write, "It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew My Ass All Day".

Capital I

In a recent discussion with my buddy Chad, he mentioned watching a lot of old Sesame Street programs recently with his toddler. In particular, he mentioned the following clip.

He sang the little jingle, and I vaguely remembered the scene. I was stoked to find this thing on YouTube. And he is right, clips like this are why the 70's ruled. First, I agree that the music sounds a lot like the band America. But what do the lyrics mean? Oh sure - three dudes in a capital I... That's not odd, is it? "We all live in a capital I, It floats above the desert in the middle of the sky..." I propose that the actual meaning is more to the concept of ego, and the sad plight of man, left trapped in the lonely caverns of the mind, shining the self and shutting the door of conciet, keeping the self a beautiful yet solitary monument awash in the vast empty expanse of the universe. It's a sad and hard lesson for a toddler, or a man, but it may contain a glimmer of hope for trancendance. The line, "Polishing the I, high up in the sky", could also be written, "Polishing the EYE, high up in the sky", a sly and subtle refrence to the eye of mind, ego's bane, and the possibility of broader human understanding and experience beyond the walls of the "I". These are the lessons that a large swath of America grew up with, lessons that are sorely lacking from modern children's programming.

The greatest living Americans?

My vote is for these two - what would be your pick?